Monday, 06 July 2009

• Girls just can't do it the same

  You’ve seen it all before – the girl with the ticking biological clock, the girl dreaming of the fairy tale wedding and waiting for her prince to come, the girl who is instantaneously attached after sex, and on and on.
  
  You remember that scene in Wedding Crashers at the wedding where Isla Fisher goes crazy and won’t let go of Vince Vaughan? He has that look of panic in his eye and says, “uh oh. Stage 5 clinger!!”
  
   
  
  That’s the girl I’m talking about – the one with the crazy eye. The girl who’s so desperate for the guy to call, so eager to be in love, so reeking of desperation that it hurts to witness even as an innocent bystander. 
  
  But what about the dudes who are carbon copies of the crazy ladies?
  
  Too often than not, girls are the ones pigeonholed as scary and clingy. Maybe it’s better for story-telling? But there are dudes that are equally (if not more) as smothering. It just sucks that those stories don’t see the light of day! 
  
  Yes, I’m aware that we live in a double standard world and girls can’t get away with the same things guys can. If I texted/called a guy every day while he was on vacation, asking him how it was and when he’d be back, I’d be labeled a psychopath (and arguably so). Yet if a dude does that to me, what do people around me say?
  
  You like douchebags, em. When you finally find a nice guy, you can’t appreciate it and you’re too into the game of chase.
  
  Obviously, I beg to differ. I love nice guys. I can write many, many blogs about how great nice guys are and how shameful it is that they often don’t stay that way. There’s usually a girl that comes along and either breaks them or uses them or wrongs them. And then they learn and morph into douchebags. So sad!
  
  So to my defense, I love nice people. But there’s a humongous world of difference between NICE and CLINGY. There’s a soft, romantic side of me that’s still alive, yet dormant. I hope to always believe in love, but I’m also aware that it takes more than three dates to know someone. I don’t believe in any of that “you complete me” BS via Jerry Maguire. I don’t want someone who’s looking for puzzles to stick into their otherwise incomplete life. I don’t want someone who can’t hold their own, who has to call me at every hour of the day to check up on where I’m at and see how I’m doing. It’s flattering to be the object of someone’s affection, but only when they genuinely know you for you and not because they just want a girl to shower attention upon. 
  
  What’s more puzzling is that if there’s anything that I am, it’s being a straight shooter. Subtlety is NOT my strong point! So if I’m avoiding you, it’s blatantly clear. If someone of the male gender is a Stage 5 clinger and cannot get the obvious point, it makes me wonder a couple things. The first being that, this method of getting girls has worked in the past! Especially if the guy is not young or inexperienced. I mean, if you’re 20 years old, I’ll just chalk it up to a learning experience. God knows the retarded things I used to say/do at that age. So obviously, there was positive reinforcement that has the man thinking it’s effective to smother a stranger with endless affection. 
  
  This leads me back to my original wonderment: do clingy girls get the bad rap because we simply never hear about clingy guys? If a guy is instantly clingy, he's considered "sweet" and warmly embraced by clingy girls. So it's almost as if clingy guys are like part of an underground society that we just don't hear about because there's plenty of desperate girls to go around!
  
  More often than not, a genuinely “nice guy” is hard to find, especially one who is dateable, normal, and has not yet morphed into a douchebag. I also hope they find “nice girls” who love to eat un-earned attention up with a spoon, the need to wear the pants, and enjoy grand acts of romantic gestures. 
  
  I enjoy the latter too, but only when it’s reserved for somebody who feels the same way and not just some joe blow. When you’ve only known me for less than a month, you should pretty much chalk me up to a girl joe blow. 
  
  Then again, what the heck do I know? Am I even making sense? I've been single for more years than I can count on a hand. From the sounds of this entry, I'm probably the crazy one out here alone!
  

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